Student of Life came about from over ten years of struggle, hardship, and frustration. During this period of time I have perpetually lacked direction―though could always apply myself intently to projects I came across. I’ve suffered from severe depression beginning in college and only recently ceasing to plague me. I’ve struggled with loneliness and heartbreak. I’ve been dependent on alcohol, tobacco, and drugs―at times―and managed to wreak havoc on my body and psyche during years of hard partying. I flirted dangerously with total collapse, finally hitting rock-bottom and returning home to the states from Medellin, Colombia where I was living at the time of my implosion.
My salvation was found in family, who cared for me and encouraged me throughout the long haul. During the most intense periods of depression, isolation, and despair I would find solace and company from the teachers and spirit guides whose books I read voraciously on my path to recovery. Without being dramatic, my life was threatening calamity had I not taken drastic measure to improve my situation, nourish my mind, feed my soul with the wise and loving messages found in literature, and exercise my body back into a healthy state.
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“Even if he fails again and again to accomplish his purpose, the strength of character gained will be the measure of his true success, and this will form a new starting point for future power and triumph.”
-James Allen; As a Man Thinketh
I didn’t just start out on the path to repair all that was wrong with me. And, for what it’s worth, there was never anything wrong with me. Frustration set in when I hit walls in my development or when the bottom fell out on plans or schemes I attached myself to. I’m a hard charger, usually going full force in the direction of my dreams. However, without definite dreams―that is to say, without wholeheartedly knowing my purpose and having a clear image of what it was I was after―my ambitions, ventures, projects, and pursuits quickly imploded. It must have looked like I’d mastered the art of failing to any onlooker. Lord knows my friends and family looked on with concern, and sometimes―to my chagrin―pity, which was the worst because it gave the impression that I was “lost” and without hope. This, however, was not the case. Far from it, I assure you. Being what people called lost, and all the while, actively and rabidly searching for my calling, just didn’t equate. What they couldn’t see I secretly knew.
Before we get underway, I’d like to pay homage to someone special to me. It just so happens that the advent of my site, and first blog posting, perfectly coincided with my father’s birthday. As a tribute for helping make me the man that I am today, I choose to dedicate the success of the site, and my own personal success, to my dad, Carl Montoya.
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My journey began over a decade ago when my teenage self was audacious enough to dream big and refuse to settle―fighting off any and all hindrance on his path toward dream attainment. Rest assured, I was stifled more times than I care to admit, and saw an equal amount of failure in my dealings. Nevertheless, I remained steadfast in my pursuit of knowledge, teachers, and undertakings that would allow me to grow and learn new skills. I changed places and countries of residence as often as you would change the oil in your car. As far as I can remember I’ve had an insatiable appetite for new and different surroundings and believe, still, that a well-rounded education and exposure to diverse stimuli can be beneficial to more efficiently target one’s aptitudes. The soul rejoices when a passion is uncovered―when a new component is added to the sculpture that is you―tirelessly adding to the mosaic that is your individuality, or that which we call personality. These are but triggers alerting you to your soul’s deepest desires in this life experience.
I made a conscious decision at eighteen that I would walk through life with a feverish curiosity and a sincere desire to unearth universal knowledge that has aided in the development of man since the beginning of time. I inwardly knew that a small percentage of people in the world employed secrets of the universe to aid in the attainment of anything from riches, to fame, to achieving feats deemed to be genius by the logical and traditionally-minded. I became a Student of Life as a result of my deep-seated longing to know more and to be more. No matter what absolutely profound breakthroughs I’ve had recently, I’m still just like you―on the path towards a harmonious and spirited life. I’ve developed my mental capacities, passed the spiritual rights of passage, and am ready to receive the abundance that my mind has joyously created for me. I have built my castle in my mind’s eye and before long will dwell in it. The interesting part is that you, the journeyer, get to witness how my long quest will, finally, come to fruition. And while I’ve come to learn a whole spectrum of ideas, as it pertains to the laws of the universe, and tailor them to suit me individually―I will reveal simply and easily the secrets, or knowledge of the universe, as I have come to understand them. There are universal laws, but, you my dear friend, are an individual and so we must assess what approach works best for you, and, where you find yourself on the journey. Although my path began, perhaps, before yours―it doesn’t matter where in time and space you’ve decided to join the journey―what matters is that you suspect that there’s more out there and are willing to seek it out. Welcome aboard.
Before I tell you about me, let me tell you how my existence came to pass. My father was born in New Mexico― in the small, modest town of Truth or Consequences in 1948― to Merced and Esther Montoya. Although New Mexico plays a big role in his childhood, and also where our family continues to have strong ties, Arizona was where my grandparents would finally settle their family. My father was raised, then, primarily in Scottsdale, Arizona and attended Arizona State University, as did his twin sons. Since my dad told me few stories growing up I would piece together an impression of my dad’s character from the rousing anecdotes that his siblings and my grandparents would tell me.
Nevertheless, it’s always hard to discern “who” my father was as a youth, adolescent, or young man― what his dreams were?, what motivated him?, and what he passionately cared about? Children only know their father as the male figure, the strong presence, the worker, the provider, the disciplinarian. We see the real sides of our parents shine through when they forget momentarily that they are constantly being observed, perhaps imitated, or when they’re just playing and engaging their kids in fun activities. We look to our parents not just to meet our physiological needs but to shape us from a young age―to mold our character and impress upon us an identity, a personality, which is very readily influenced by these two prominent figures.
As children, we seem to get so attached to the role of ‘Dad’ and ‘Mom’ that we sometimes forget that our parents have first names, and past histories, and behave differently around other adults, and even have lives at work we know nothing of!
As it came to pass, my brothers and I were born American and raised in a middle class family of six people, altogether. Just after a 5-year assignment ended in London, England we returned to the states and settled in a suburb of Washington, D.C., where my brothers and I would adjust to an American life we knew nothing of, while my dad transitioned into his new position with the federal government. My upbringing was, in all respects, safe and secure. My needs were met; education, housing, and nourishment were never issues. Before the age of seven I had known 5 countries, including my birth country. That I had a passport at 2-years of age comes as no surprise to me. My adventure, as it were, began shortly after my arrival into this world and has continued to present day. As a child I would have such good fortune as to visit Mallorca, one of the Balearic islands, off the coast of the Iberian peninsula; climb the Zugspitze in Garmisch, Germany; explore Corfu, Greece on foot and by boat, and swim in the Ionian sea at the entrance of the Adriatic. I would have the fortune to ascend the turrets of Scottish and Irish castles, accompany my parents on shopping trips to Picadilly Circus, and ride on double-decker buses through the heart of London. Truly, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. This laid the foundation for who I would become. In fact, seeing what I was so privileged to see as a child would, in fact, lay the foundation for the dreams that I would conjure and hold in expectation for my adult self. These experiences were instrumental in my formation, and dream creation. My father was the perfect choice to give me these experiences.
What I’ve come to understand is that each of us selects our lot in life. James Hillman (The Soul’s Code: In Search of Character and Calling), respected psychologist and pioneer in his work on the subject of soul and purpose, suggests that “the soul descends in four modes― via the body, the parents, place, and circumstances.” Hillman suggests that our soul actually chooses it’s―now get this―‘ideal’ life. When I came across Hillman’s book it was only confirming the inevitable. I knew, deep-down, that my soul had purpose― and, if it had purpose and chose my lot in life then I was predestined to succeed. It had to be true as we are made in the image and likeness of God. If finding purpose was the path to contentment and harmonious success then it would be priority number one to locate and employ it.
My soul’s greatest desire, and its attainment, I believe, was predetermined to reach fruition by choosing my parents, country of birth, and even the circumstances in which I would grow up. If you’re of the belief that you get one life and one life only and your soul appears and vanishes with no trace of your existence, then I think you should stop here and resume the manner in which you live. However, if this intrigues you―please, read on.
I came across another mention from noted author, thinker, and metaphysician―Mike Dooley―of The Secret fame. Mike agrees that our soul guides us to find that which it desires, and being a soulful creature we create our reality. Things don’t happen to us. We chose to come into the world the way we are, and our circumstances were prearranged for our success in this physical world of time and space. Mike’s book Infinite Possibilities is, without a doubt, the most love-filled piece of literature I’ve ever read―and I’ve read many, many books from all kinds of spiritual people, teachers, entrepreneurs, and success coaches; none compare to the message that reaches inside you, awakens your spirit, and makes you tingle all over with excitement and possibility. Mike has so many eloquently and intelligently phrased thoughts in his book I could, plausibly, quote the whole book. Here’s an idea from Mike about getting what we want in life:
“You don’t necessarily need more education, more connections, or more lucky breaks. You just need to understand the principles and concepts that every prophet and mystic has shared since the beginning of time…which has everything to do with WHO we really are, why we’re here, and the magic at our disposal….your dreams are not yours by accident….there is nothing you can’t do, have, or be. You are guided, you do have the power, and the Universe is actually conspiring on your behalf.”
It took only one teacher to present this concept of soul purpose to my conscious mind before it could permeate the embedded realm of unconscious thought and begin to stir up these deep-seated hunches, or beliefs, as it were. These ideas reinforce what I suspected and believed to be true from a young age, and only the ego, and conscious mind, would contest this reasoning. Unless you are connected to your innermost thoughts―your higher self―then your ego will argue adamantly that this line of thinking is blasphemous, outrageous, untrue! ‘How could it be true?,’ you ask. ‘We are but physical creatures in a physical universe,’ you remedy.
Well, how could it not be? Unless you want to admit you are nothing more than a physical shell with noTHING behind it. You would have to argue that we are empty human bodies controlled by nothing more than a pulsating heart and active brain that commands our movements. Were we not born with free will? If that is so, would God not delight in seeing us exercise that free will to create the life that He imagines for us, with the divine power to create bestowed upon us? Why must the general consensus be that we are weak, disease and circumstance prone; limited beings in a stingy world ridden with economical woes and tragedy among humanity. Those―if we’re talking about choosing―are pretty miserable thoughts. And yet, many are inclined to accept this logic!
“You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.”
-Marianne Williamson
So, if we are spiritual, soulful beings then what is it that the soul came here to do? Much of the confusion surrounding our lives happens at those critical junctures in our lives like the transition between childhood and adulthood, high school to college, and college graduation to the work world. Can many say that they weren’t shuffled through these rites of passage so hastily that they lost track of what they yearned for, perhaps as they did as a child, and what they find themselves concerned with now?
It’s mind-boggling how many choices there are, how many paths available; how many towns, cities, and situations we could plausibly end up in. I like to think we have a choice in the matter. In fact, I believe we are the presiding judge and jury―the captain of our own ship, the director of operations, el jefe. I believe―after much study, contemplation, meditation, and life experience―that I can, in fact, choose how I live my life and not be subject to my conditions.
As Dr. Susan Corso very aptly puts it, “The true task of humankind is to choose what we want. Choose, let go, let the results come, and evaluate. Then, choose again. Get your feelings behind your choices―because all real choices are about what we want to feel.” Also, if you’ve been paying attention to any modern day teacher of dream attainment they are in agreement. Joe Vitale, also of The Secret fame, states on the DVD itself that, “this is a feeling universe.” You must feel your way through life―this will aid in personal discovery, understanding your fellow man, connecting and relating to source energy (God), which, in turn, allows one to attract and manifest what it is one desires to bring into one’s experience (aka reality). Dr. Corso goes on to say, “You are an individualized expression of God Itself. Made in that image and likeness, you too are a creator. Get creating.” Great advice. Thanks Susan.
If you, too, choose to go on this journey you’ll, perhaps, see the aforementioned quote written similarly by many teachers on this path who have the same profound understanding of the universe in which we live. Should you choose to dispel this sort of thinking, then by all means, continue the life you presently lead―oh, and, by the way, you’ll just need to forget about your deepest desires, the excitement that accompanies creating your dream life, the joy that comes from getting in touch with your inner-self, thereby accessing the source of our power resulting in an exaltation and peaceful feeling that no drug can give you. Oh, and feel free to do it all by yourself. With no help. Just you and your resolve to stubbornly force your ambitiousness upon people in your path. By all means, try that― I did. For years I tried imposing my will upon others, manipulating my surroundings, employing forceful energy to brings thing to fruition. The results were always temporary (read: fleeting) and disastrous. I would end up losing face, severing friendships, alienating other acquaintances, and, in general, frustrating myself into submission― and by submission I mean quitting. I felt like I was trying to roll a snowball uphill.
Mike Dooley would tell you that, “thoughts turning into things is how time and space operates…taking that initial leap from the known into the unknown invokes the secret behind all creation.”
I agree wholeheartedly. My experiences can attest to it being true. You’re probably thinking, ‘well, yeah, if I could do that I’d be all set. But, really, how do I do that? Again, referring to Mike’s wise words, in the preface of his book, he tells us, “What I discovered…is that remembering my true place in life― understanding my role in its creation and demonstrating such understandings through thought, word, and deed― is always enough to change everything.”
With that said, I will continue to tell you how I came into creation. Before my soul chose to return to the physical world for yet another lifetime, I have come to understand that this lifetime was meant to be different from others. I am inclined to believe that my soul selected―as it always has― my place of birth, my country of citizenship, the upbringing and the class into which I was born; my physical appearance and race; to be born a twin and have brothers; and to be the son of Carl and Judith Montoya. Being born to this family, at this time, would create the perfect conditions for my being to prosper. I would have all the elements aligned in my favor to realize my soul purpose. The only caveat is that I would need to accept that this was my doing and not challenge these circumstances or plead with God that I was dealt an unfair hand. Being content with my lot― truly grateful for every moment my situation has brought into my experience― to live and prosper as we, all humans, were meant to.
“Know ye not that ye are gods?” Psalms 82:6, John 10:34
Once I realized this concept I was freed. Emotionally. Spiritually. Free and unencumbered. This idea takes some working with. You may have to do some investigating on this as it pertains to you. It requires banishing all Sunday school teachings and finding reasonable doubt in the Adam and Eve myth―‘c’mon, really? One man and one woman gave birth to humankind as we know it? It’s a nice idea, but then so is Santa Claus.
What troubles me is that religion has the audacity to suggest that an innocent child, brought into the world on his day of birth, is tainted, and believed to have been born with “original sin,” due to the mistakes made by you know who. If this offends you then you can stop reading right now; however, please know that it offends me that religion, and men on earth, would perpetuate this lie, thereby stifling and thwarting any forward progress that that soul individual had desired for his lifetime. To condemn a newborn with original sin is about as reasonable as condemning a shark for his vicious nature and voracious appetite.
The content of this site will never waiver or turn to accommodate the shortcomings of the old-fashioned thinker, who may be stymied by a fear-based existence. I’ve lived in each man’s world―both the pragmatic, realist vs. the metaphysical dreamer, who creates his life on earth through communion with a higher power and feeds off of love-based energy. So, can you guess which one I chose? You got it. You have a choice, too. Don’t ever forget that. Question anyone who tells you differently. Question anyone who perceives a man’s fortune to come only by the sheer force of will, fierce competition, unsavory deal-making and the like. University studies are not frowned upon, however, once you find your soul’s purpose, the harmonious nature of the universe will speedily arrange all aspects, seen and unseen, to accommodate your desire. If what you wish is to be highly educated (as taught by traditional institutions)―which fits your purpose for being here―then by all means, pursue that. If you find yourself going deeply into debt for high-priced continuing education, usually society-urged, without a definite idea of what you’re aiming for and if its really for you, then I would say begin where you stand to explore self not career; strive to know your inner workings not the inner workings of a classroom. The world is your classroom. Life is your teacher―become a student.
My friends, what I have come to know requires you to get really honest with yourself, and that you earnestly ask yourself why you’re here? If your curiosity still urges you forward then I believe you’re ready for this journey.